‘You’ve Been Framed’
When people say “I’m not gonna lie….” (hmmm, do you normally lie!).
A selfish person.
Wind and rain at the same time (unless I’m indoors).
When people eat with their mouth open.
When people start crunching crisps before they close their mouth, so it echoes loudly across the room. Acoustics are really not welcome.
Slow internet connection.
Needing to go to the loo when a delivery is due any moment. Shall I, shan’t I….
People who make an exasperating song and dance about the fact that I can walk in high heels. Heels are not a new phenomenon.
When the postman could have squeezed a parcel through the letterbox if he tried – but leaves a card instead.
People trying to stop you and sell you things while you’re walking down the street – and start by asking you how your day is going……well it was going fine until you pounced on me in the street, and if I want a new broadband/wifi package I’ll come to you when I’m good and ready thanks., just like a buy bread when I need it…is what I stop myself from saying.
Automated direct messages.
When you get ink on your nail polish – or anything else for that matter.
People who take every opportunity to turn any conversation to talking about themselves. Yawn.
A self centred view of the world and other people, unwillingness to contemplate a bigger picture.
When you make a cup of tea and then forget all about it until its almost cold.
Bloggers that have clearly copied their posts from somewhere – the style and tone of each article is inconsistent and their ‘about me’ sounds almost illiterate.
Shifty people. They avoid eye contact, meaningful social interaction and are always looking around to see who’s looking at them.
When people slurp their tea. Just wait for it to cool, don’t be so over-eager.
When people put fish (sardines for example) in a work place microwave.
When delivery people ring your bell at the crack of dawn, causing you to fly out of bed half asleep ( better than waiting indoors all day for it I suppose).
When people invade your personal space on public transport. If I can feel your body heat, you’re too close mate!
When people clear their throats as though it’s meant to translate into some sort of telepathic message.
When people put their mouths over water fountains for a drink instead of filing a bottle or cup. Gross.
When people speak EXTRA LOUD whilst on a mobile phone. Newsflash – there is absolutely no need.
When people with buggies/pushchairs charge at you as though they have an unspoken ‘right of way’. The buggy becomes a weapon.
When people turn the volume up loud on cheap earphones and all the sound leaks out..’chchchchchchchc’.
People leaving the photocopier jammed.
People who ask you a question but don’t listen to or acknowledge the answer.
When you go back to buy something you saw while shopping and it’s gone.
People who moan, tut and continually sigh in queues – it doesn’t help, and you’re not the only one!
When people talk about all their life problems on the phone on a bus – have some dignity.
When people take about four big bites out of an apple before starting to chew. The apple isn’t going anywhere.
When people touch door handles with wet hands. Cringe.
When people drag their feet across the floor. Lift your feet off the floor – it’s technique.
When people crack their knuckles. Why?
When you’ve just put nail polish on and realise you need to get something from the bottom of your bag. Tragedy.
Ringing any kind of call centre. The joys – none.