Sometimes you struggle to recognise that when someone lets you down, it’s not necessarily about you. It’s not ‘because’ of you or anything you did or didn’t/should or shouldn’t have done. Very often, it’s about them – their baggage, their mentality and their maturity level.
In effect, they have let themselves down, you just happened to get yourself tangled up in it.
It’s healthy to acknowledge and admit when we feel disappointed in someone, healthier than getting angry or down on ourselves; when we acknowledge the dissapointment, we can address it and release it from weighing heavily us.
So it’s not about me….
It’s disappointing that rather than making the most of our common ground, you focus on an insignificant difference and make it a high wall between us. Your loss.
It’s disappointing that I observe you changing your opinions and values depending on who you are talking to – I don’t think you even realise you’re doing it. Who is the real you?
It’s disappointing that you laugh or roll your eyes when I try to share a thought or feeling that stretches beyond what you expected.
It’s disappointing that you give off jealous energy when I had nothing but good intentions toward you.
Its disappointing that you preach so much but I don’t see any examples from you to back it up.
It’s disappointing that you act like everyone owes you something instead of trying to build something for yourself.
It’s disappointing that you only seem to think about yourself.
It’s disappointing that you haven’t matured since then.
It’s disappointing that you try to make people feel bad about themselves rather than lift them up.
It’s disappointing that you still don’t seem to be taking responsibility for your choices, you continue blaming everyone and anything else instead.
It’s disappointing that you judge quickly rather than than try to understand.
It’s disappointing that you gossip so much about other people, then wonder why I keep you at arms length.
It’s disappointing that you don’t know your worth, that you allow people to mistreat you.
It’s disappointing that you bend and bow to the opinions of other people, where is your integrity?
It’s disappointing that you get so defensive that there is no warmth when speaking to you.
It’s disappointing that you have so much talent and so many strengths, but you don’t channel them in a positive way.
If everyone added to this list it would probably go on an on, since nobody’s perfect!
Mental Health First Aid
Looking after yourself is just as much about your thoughts and feelings as it is your food, warmth and shelter. Don’t let other people’s disappointing behaviour pull you out of your happy, healthy, peaceful and confident place – hopefully your ‘disappointers’ will reach that place with you one day 🙏😊🔆
justnatonya
Great post!👏🏾 We must stop being apologetic for the mistakes of others. It’s not our fault when they don’t come through or make empty promises.
Natonya | https://www.justnatonya.wordpress.com
Cherryl
Thank you Natonya, you are so right 😊
noushymousy
I totally agree with this post- instead of draining ourselves by thinking of how others have let us down, we should engage in self-care. It’s so much more rewarding to focus on ourselves!
vinneve
So true. I got dissapointed in friendship but it’s that person loss not mine.
Cherryl
One day they’ll realise!! 🤗
KT Workman
Good advice. I live with a difficult person and need to learn not to take their negativity personally.
Cherryl
I hope things get easier 😉thanks for reading.
Anonymous
Yeah, it took me too a while to realise that other people’s baggage doesn’t necessarily need to be mine;)
Cherryl
Glad to hear this – seeing things more clearly makes such a difference to our own happiness, health, mindset – everything 🙂 Thanks for reading 😊
my30somethingadventures.wordpress.com/
It is so easy to take things personally – I know I do this all the time. Being aware of it for me was a big step forward.
That point about jealous energy – grrrrrr. It is so draining and unnecessary. I avoid people that cannot be happy for others. If something awesome has happened or someone has been somewhere stunning – I’m happy for them and enjoy hearing about it.
When I share good news and get a sour face I immediately put distance between myself and the happiness vampire. Why waste energy?
Cherryl
I could not agree with you more, it takes a mind shift to move past how you feel and really look at what’s going on…and the term ‘happiness vampire’ is one I’m going to steal from you – that’s exactly the way some people behave and it really is draining when you’re on the receiving end….the energy they give out is what they’ll get back, so they’re shooting themselves in the foot really! Sending happy vibes your way 😊🔆
Harbans
Affirmative. It is disappointing that we take everything untoward very serious without thinking that life itself is so complex – sometimes we feel down and other times we are on the upswing. Downs and ups are part of this life. No problem, THIS HAPPENS.