A quiet hotel on Grand Anse beach.

The staff are generally friendly and polite (with the exception of one housekeeping lady who beat on my hotel room door  one evening, with such force and persistence I thought maybe the hotel was burning down or the police had some urgent matter to discuss with me) – but oh no…it was nothing of the sort.

Instead, the woman simply wanted to swap used beach towels for clean one’s, that’s all! I made sure to tell her I’d heard her on the first knock.

No apology.

If you had a young child sleeping in the room they would have awoken immediately – and if you had a migraine, it would have intensified instantly – very inconsiderate.

Apart from that, everyone else at the Coyaba was very pleasant.

Many of the rooms on the ground floor were undergoing renovations.

The beach is beautiful, I can’t fault anything about it – ideal for peaceful sunbathing and catching up on a good book.

You will find plenty of trees dotted around for shade, and despite being a public beach you will not get too much trouble from local sellers or charmers during the day!

One such charmer to look out for goes by the name of ‘Mr Lover Lover’ (just close your eyes for  a second and hear the sounds of Shaggy’s ‘Boombastic’ in the background, setting the tone suitably).

Anyway, while you’re lounging on the beach minding your own business, soaking up the sun, sipping a fruity drink, listening to the waves and chirping birds, ‘Mr Lover Lover’ will wander up from nowhere, flashing a smile and claiming to offer the very best massages around, and he won’t be shy about telling you how much he would love to give you one, and other words to the that effect. It’s something he says he does on the side of his day job.

Food

Well breakfasts were great – buffet style, just they way I like them. I like to see everything on offer and try what I like in whatever quantity I choose.

Evening meals were mainly by menu selection, though some evenings offer a buffet style spread.

Entertainment

There was entertainment most nights, including singers, and steel band – though I would suggest ditching a lot of the slow sad songs (for those who have come on holiday to escape the blues back home – this won’t help).

Just stick with the more merry and upbeat.

Facilities

I forgot to take a picture, but the safe in the room was a sore point. I’ve never come across one like this before. It had an external battery (like an AA size) on the outside of the safe door next to the key/number digits – which I assume made some part of it (namely the digital lock) work.

So I guess anyone in the room could just remove the battery – or the battery could die, leaving contents accessible to all and sundry.

I kept valuables on my person and locked in a suitcase – I followed my instinct and chose not use the safe, bearing in mind I only ever choose hotels that provide room a safe!

Across the road from the hotel you will see a large shopping complex, including Spiceland Mall, and a KFC. The mall is quite big inside , with various souvenir shops, art shop, supermarket, hardware/homwaere store and local people in the entrance selling freshly cooked food and cakes. There is also a section with a range of takeaway/hot food eateries.

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