Air Travel Antics, and Smirk Worthy Observations

Air travel ought to be the set for some new ‘reality’ type comedy, drama series or documentary narrated by David Attenborough.
Air travel offers a minefield of laughs, brow raisers, smirks and eye rolls when you think about it. Off the top of my head, here’s a few random thoughts from times gone by:

Baggage Claims Chaos

WWF style charging – often required to get past the boundary line to drag your luggage of the belt. Ding ding 🔔 🤼‍♂️
 
When you wait nearly two hours for your luggage to come off the carrousel – welcome to Havana!! 🤗
 
 

A Domestic in departures

Bitter arguments between family members. You’re thinking, ‘good grief’, how will they cope – trapped together on a plane and then on holiday in a foreign land…….then again it’s very likely they live together so, probably nothing new. 😤
 

Window Shopping 

Becoming preoccupied with things you have no intention of buying.

Like the time I stood fascinated by a display of drones. Some of them looked like creepy sci fi space alien robot type things!! 🤖 

Plus the time I kept eyeing up some really cool looking ski goggles….whilst waiting for a flight to the tropics. 🏝 🐠

Danger

Nearly getting run over by those airport golf buggy driving things that creep/whizz up and down, sometimes with some unnecessarily alarming alarms. 🚨
 

Why are we waiting 🎶

Sitting on your plane, wondering why you’re not taking off yet – then the pilot apologises for the delay, explaining that we are all waiting for one couple who seem to have lost their boarding passes 😐 and are trying to find them. We wait, and we wait. 
 
Conclusion – this must be a very kind pilot.
 

Just when you thought nothing could ruin the mood….

Immigration/customs forms. Any kind of form.

Cabin crew come down the aisle handing them out – and everyone starts rumaging around for pens and passport numbers, turning trays into desks 😌

Talk about killing the mood.

You were relaxed, cruising above the clouds, day/dreaming about something nice, then you have to start filling out application forms like you’re applying for a job, not to mention reading the ridiculously tiny print and wondering which might be trick questions, and whether you’ll end up being detained for not declaring a packet of chewing gum or something… 🔍📊

 

Guilty of Nail Polish Remover

Ever been pulled up by security in the name of polished nails? 
 
My nail polish remover leakes in my suitcase (in a plastic bag  – thankfully) and presumably, sniffer dogs have picked up on the scent and think it might be something suspect.  I have to open my case and let the ‘officers’ have a quick rummage.
 
It’s all very neatly packed in packing cubes (highly recommend) – so not as embarrassing as it could have been, but that doesn’t stop people wondering if you’re some sort of dreadful criminal 🤭
 

Musical Departure Gates

When you’re waiting for your flight home and the flight is delayed but there’s no updated departure time. Everyone’s hot, bothered and becoming increasingly angry.
 
Then, the airport decides to switch your departure gate without any warning or announcement. No change on the screens either.
 
The queue scatters and Chinese whispers begin to spread.
 
The plane has arrived – people are boarding, somewhere!!
 
Let the games begin!!🕺🏽💃🏽

The Challenge of Airport Loos

Is it too much to ask, to have toilet cubicles that accommodate luggage as well as a person –  as standard (make it a global standard, somebody please) and at least one hook on the door for bags/jackets and other random paraphanailia, please.

Thank you.

Daylight Robbery  👮🏼‍♂️

Why does the price of everything you’re likely to need pretty much double in value….

Money that refuses to be spent: nobody??

Trying to spend money is usually the least of our problems – apart from the one time you actually really want to spend it, foreign currency left in your purse – which you’ve decided to spend at the airport before you board your flight home, but there are hardly any shops or
there’s nothing you really want to buy  – me in Havana airport…so I guess I’ll have to get myself back to Cuba to get those pesos spent. 😉
 
 

Surprises

Like being forced to ‘check-in’ your hand luggage, and then being requested to step onto the scales yourself – yep, so they can weigh you. Then not until standing on the runway tarmac do you realise you’re about to board a light aircraft, when you thought you were boardig a regular sized plane (don’t you just love surprises). 🥳 😱

Oh Baby

The baby that cried on a flight all the way from Turkey to the UK without stopping once for a nap. 😳

I’m Not Eating That – Airport Food

When your flight home is boarding, you grab a quick sandwich from ‘Subway’ (which I would never normally do and will never do again) to take on the plane, because you know what aeroplane food can be is like.  
 
You witness the person making your Sub handle someone else’s dirty tray with rubbish on it and then continue to handle your food. You point out their error of their ways and tell them you no longer want the Sub.  They look at you like you inconvenienced them!!! Ha!! 
 
😒 Thankfully there was a fancy place right next to my depature gate and I got a lovely huge, deep filled bagguette from them instead 😋
 

Who’s bag is this?

When you forgot you left a liquid item in your hand luggage “who’s is this bag?” and then they look at you like you’re a terrorist before you do the the walk of shame so they can inspect the bag personally. You cringe at the thought of having to re-pack it all nicely  – AGAIN. People have no idea how long it takes to manouver everything into perfect position. 😩

 
 
Me first
People behaving like hyperactive children at a birthday party, trying to get on (and off) the plane before everyone else. Maybe there’s a cash prize if you’re first!! 🙄

Order, order

Why don”t boarding calls go in order of the back of the plane first – wouldn’t this be more helpful in reducing the mayhem of trying to squeeze past everyone at the front if you’re trying to get to the middle or back. 🤔

Some Entertainment Please 

I’ve always wondered why airports don’t have cinemas attached  – surely they’d be raking it in!
 
Then again, staff might have to keep an extra eye out for the ‘exhausted and jetlagged’ falling fast asleep in there, especially since the seats will be a lot comfier than those hard things in departures. 🎬 🍿 
 

 

Air Travel – Things I read somewhere…😮

  • People change their babies nappies on the same seat trays you put your food on, the trays don’t always get wiped ‘according to so called insiders’ and microbiologists have confirmed this horrifying reality (article in the Independent )
  • Apparently many planes fail water saftey tests – riddled with harmful bacteria
  • Some cabin crew staff on a Korean airline are permitted to use tasers on passengers 

 

Things that help make it better

Flying off somewhere always feels better when the weather is miserable and gloomy, rainy and cold at take off. This makes the whole departure experience all the more satisfying. 😌

A nice big breakfast before an outbound take off (if it’s a morning flight).

A new perfume for a new trip.

And of course  – getting an unexpected upgrade would also make everything much much better.

Small wins

Staying on a positive note.

That flutter of excitement when your departure gate finally comes up on the screen ✈️ and the relief when the walk to your gate isn’t as far as you thought 😉 not to mention the satisfaction when the e-passport machine in immigration recognises you straight away when you get home. 🥇

The Joys of air travel!

On the grand scheme of things I suppose none of the above really matter! Being able to travel overseas is always a privilege that many around the world might never experience……stiil, it’s amusing to think about it all.

Anyway…..

It’s starting to feel like an endless rant now so I’ll stop 🙊 😊 but please share your own airport and air travel antics, amusements and smirk worthy observations below….

Rants are also very much welcome💫😉 get it off your chest!

9 thoughts on “Air Travel Antics, and Smirk Worthy Observations

  1. cminorwriter

    I took a two week training with a company that cleans airlines at Orlando International Airport. On my first night on the job we cleaned a plane from a flight from Brazil. It was disgusting! I had to clean in between the seats where people stuffed tissues, wrappers, cookies, and whatever else. I cleaned the trays, headrests, armrests, change the magazine and airline guide. Thank goodness I didn’t have the job of cleaning the restrooms. The plane looked like there was a fight on the flight, just a big gigantic mess! And it smelled (not good!) We had twenty minutes to clean the plane, replace the blankets, pillows, head sets, etc. What I learned was I don’t want to clean planes, I quit the next day. Now when I fly I know it makes no sense rushing to gate when they announce my flight. The passengers have to disembark, security goes on the plane to check it and then the crew has twenty minutes to clean it and fuel it up and take garbage off and put the food/beverages on. So I just sit and relax myself and besides I’ve got a seat all the way in the back on the plane.

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